Wednesday, 4 May 2011

I don't think I know what I'm doing

Well, just four days left until the Halstead Marathon...and I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm a bit scared!

I really don't know if I'm ready or not, if my body has recovered enough from London yet, if I've done enough training in between the two marathons...if I even know what I'm doing running two so close together when sometimes I don't even feel fit enough to walk up an escalator in a tube station and I start asking myself if I'm really a marathon runner?! Oh, and I'm really nervous about running a hilly course - that's going to be an entirely different experience to the three (very flat!) London marathons that I've done before.  Self-doubt is seriously kicking in, and although I'm trying to ignore it, it's definitely in the back of my mind, and is making me worry about the dreaded "DNF".

As part of my preparations, I went for a sports massage yesterday which was suitably painful, and will hopefully set me up well for Sunday, and I've had a look at the weather - apparently it's going to be raining which although not ideal will be much better than beating sunshine! I'm not too happy with my trainers, but sure they'll get me round...and the only other thing I need to do now is to try and get myself in the right frame of mind, as at the moment, it's my positivity and confidence that's missing...and as we all know, the psychological battle around a marathon course is as important as the physical one!

I did have a lovely boost yesterday though - I received an amazingly generous sponsorship donation of £290 which brought me up to the £1,000 mark, raised for Elephant Family.  Raising that sort of money really does make the whole thing a bit more worthwhile :)

So, I have a final run of 4 miles to do tonight, and will do an easy couple of miles on Saturday and then all that's left is to have a successful run on Sunday!  Against my better judgement, I'm going to start off at a 4hr 30min pace as I did in London, and just see how I get on.  Fingers crossed and wish me luck!



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